Pure Fantasy Week 6

Week Six: Saying Hello to Old Friends, and Woe to the Ravens' D

Pure Ramblings

Well, we all knew that when I went 100% last week, it wasn't going to last. I returned to hit-or-miss form, and while I hit in predicting that Andrew Luck and Reggie Wayne would come down to earth after the Chuckstrong victory against the Packers, Kyle Rudolph scored a TD and a 2-point conversion, and Alex Green was halfway decent, I had my share of predictive failures. Jahvid Best never returned to the Lions' lineup the Patriots running game stalled against the Seahawks defense, and Jeremy Kerley also had a mediocre day.

Oh well. 50-50 isn't that bad.

This week, I'd like to gush about one of the most sentimental aspects of fantasy football: the Fantasy Constant. Not every fantasy player has a constant, but those who do, it can be the most rewarding and the most frustrating relationship in your life. Like that girl (or guy, I don't want to be assuming here) who you date on-again, off-again, with extreme peaks and valleys, the Constant makes you the happiest when they perform, and the most frustrated when they fail to perform. Let me explain:

The Fantasy Constant is a player that, no matter what, you always seem to own every season. For example, I've had the fortunate luck to have owned Rob Gronkowski in all three of his seasons. He might as well be wearing a Shenanigans & Tomfoolery, Inc. uniform instead of a Patriots jersey. While our relationship has cooled after a hot-n-steamy second year together, I still feel extremely emotionally attached to the guy.

Gronk represents my “Love/Love” Constant. He performs consistently enough that I don't ever have any hard feelings against the guy. The Love/Hate Constant, though, is much more of an emotional rollercoaster. You seem to be stuck with this player every year, and although they give you moments of extreme bliss, they also seem to stab you in the back at the most inopportune times. I've heard of Donovan McNabb being this player for so many players in his heyday. Mike Williams, of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, has been my Love/Hate Constant. Like Gronk, I've ended up owning him for the past three years, and although he's screwed me over many a time, this year he's making me quite happy.

Like all relationships, Fantasy Constants are the most rewarding and hurtful experiences of your life.

Pure Recap:

The Baltimore Ravens, for the past decade, have had the type of defense that you never wanted your players to be up against. Just the mention of their name would send owners scurrying to their lineups, making panicky decisions, benching their studs in fear of the vaunted Baltimore D. That mindset has created a mythical image in the minds of owners this year: the Baltimore D isn't what it used to be, readers, and it's time to stop being afraid.

With Ray Lewis, Terrell Suggs, and Ladarius Webb injured, and Haloti Ngata, Ma'ake Kemoeatu, and Jimmy Smith at less than 100%, the Ravens are immensely vulnerable on the defensive side of the ball this year. They aren't the boogeymen of fantasy football that they used to be, so stop panicking against them like they're still going to neutralize your running backs and shut down that quarterback-wide reciever combo you worked so hard to obtain. Ray Lewis, the emotional leader for the franchise's entire existence, is relegated to the sidelines. Want more proof?

Look at the stats. The Ravens have been absolutely porous against the run, giving up 136.5 yards per game and allowing seven touchdowns to be scored over the course of six games. Seven touchdowns in six games is a golden stat that you'd expect from the Browns, not the Ravens. NFL.com also reports that in fantasy terms, the Ravens have been giving up 20+ fantasy points to both running backs and wide recievers. Safe to say, I'm starting Arian Foster this week, and I'm giddy about the possible returns.

The Ravens D is dead. Long live the O.

Pure Advice:

I'm recommending my Love/Hate Constant, WR Mike Williams of the Tampa Bay Bucs. If, for some reason, he's still a free agent, pick him up. My hometown boy, alum of the Cuse, has been having quite a pleasantly consistent season. After a disappointing 2011, he's rebounded in a big way, enjoying the attention that Vincent Jackson commands on the other side of the field. He's either scored a touchdown or 100+ yards (or both) in four of his five games. That's a pretty impressive streak.

New England running back Stevan Ridley may have had an off week against the Seahawks, but everybody short of Frank Gore has had a tough time against the 'Hawks. Start him with confidence this week against the Jets, who may have regained some confidence against the Colts, but still remain a good matchup.

Believe it or not, but MTV used to be so unbelievably cool. Like, back in the '90s. Before Jersey Shore and 16 and Pregnant imposed themselves on the airwaves, MTV was the cat's pajamas, man, the bee's knees. Case in point? Unplugged. These acoustic performances are nothing short of unreal. Most of the performances can be watched in full on Youtube. Nirvana's gets a lot of press, but Alice in Chains are just as amazing. Same goes for A Tribe Called Quest and Jay-Z, for those rap fans out there.

Tight ends of the week: Buffalo's Scott Chandler, and the Titans' Jared Cook, who face each other on Sunday. Chandler is typically only useful in the redzone, but he is usually good for a TD a game, and faces a good matchup at Tennessee. Cook, an athletic freak, also has a lot to live up to some high expectations, but also has a favorable matchup against an inconsistent Bills D.

This is going to be a good rebound week for Andrew Luck. Yeah, I told you he wasn't as good as his Packers stats indicated, and I still stick by that. But I'm always going to recommend that you start every player you can when they play the Cleveland Browns. It's salivating when you see them line across from your studs.

Likewise, Tony Romo has been extremely inconsistent, but also faces the Panthers, who, along with the majority of the NFC South, can't stop most Pop Warner teams through the air. Start the Romo with confidence.

Looking for a great scary movie to add to your October repertoire this Halloween season? Allow me to recommend Trick 'r Treat. I don't know how the studio allowed it to go straight to DVD, seeing as though it has a relatively well-known cast comprised of True Blood's Anna Paquin, Brian Cox, and Dylan Baker. It's the definition of cult classic, and is worth a view every October. Maybe multiple times.

Check back next week to see if my advice panned out. Godspeed, and happy fantasizing.