Fem Fatale

She sits at the cherry oak vanity table, red satin dress drawn tight against her bronze skin, glittering in the soft light coming from the side table lamp. Her dirty blonde hair is drawn up in short curls that gently bounce with every movement of her body. She gently dips the tip of her makeup brush into the powder and sweeps a blanket of midnight black across each eye into a smoky perfection. She follows that with a layer of eyeliner across the lid, pulling the liquid to the corners of each eye and then up slightly to form cat eyes. She then applies a generous amount of cherry red lipstick and rolls her top and bottom lips together as a finishing touch.

The gorgeous Marilyn Monroe look alike stands up from her place in front of the vanity table, and chooses a pair of sexy stiletto heels from the closet and straps them on. She checks her outfit in the full-length mirror, and satisfied with her appearance, leaves for a night on the town.

The bass of DJ Wreckord’s amplifier rips through the tiny house on Hudson Street. The clock strikes midnight as Athena Merlot walks through the door and is welcomed with a wave of high-pitched screams. She makes her rounds throughout the house; welcomed with hugs and kisses, squeals of delight and drunken laughter. A kiss on the bartender’s cheek starts the night off right and with a cranberry vodka in her hand, Athena becomes the subject of pure beauty, with movements so elegant and smooth it’s as though Athena Merlot is walking on air.

Tonight, the gorgeous woman whose beauty has intoxicated partygoers with every stolen glance is named Athena Merlot.

Tomorrow, he’ll wake up, shower and wash off the remainders of his night, pull on a pair of black skinny jeans, a tight black t-shirt and resume his true identity: Robbie Brown.

* * *

Drag is a lifestyle: a choice to put aside the gender barriers and expectations, a chance to embrace another life. Drag is the manipulation of traditional gender roles and the freedom to break the line between man and woman and take on a personality, an appearance, and a life in another realm. Whether it be for a moment, a night, a year or a lifetime, drag is an art. For Robbie Brown, drag is an alter ego: a chance to portray one of the many strong women he admires.

The icy cold of Saturday’s snowstorm has encouraged everyone to huddle in Starbucks on Seneca Street in Ithaca, New York. Robbie enters the coffee shop, his skin bitten from the icy wind outside. He orders a coffee before hopping onto the stool next to me.

“It’s really fricken cold out!” he says as he runs his fingers quickly through his highlighted blonde hair, flicking bits of snow and ice all over. He unzips his jacket to reveal a tight black t-shirt that matches his black skinny jeans. Marilyn Monroe’s face tattooed onto his upper right arm peeks out below the sleeve, and his eyebrow ring occasionally catches the light and glitters brightly.

His coffee arrives a moment later. He sips it carefully, takes a breath and begins.

“Four years ago I was in college and I met a guy in Syracuse who gave me a job as a go-go dancer.” He laughs a bit after saying this, almost as though it’s a ridiculous thought that he once danced around a club in scandalous outfits.

“Every Thursday night they would host a drag show and I became good friends with everyone at the club. One of the performers, Ruby Sky, became my drag mom, and she approached me one night and said, ‘You would do really well with drag.’” Robbie raises his coffee as if to take a sip but instead breaks into the laughter he’d been holding back. “I said no, I would not look good as a woman.”

After much persuasion, Robbie allowed Ruby Sky to paint his face with a brilliant array of eye shadows, glossy lips, and a shimmery bronzer. She dressed him up for a night of adventure, and for the first time in his life Robbie Brown stepped out as a woman.

“It was like I was a completely different person,” Robbie said. “I liked the attention of it.”

Becoming comfortable in his new skin came natural to Robbie, but he did not take to the stage right away. It was completely different feeling and phenomena to get up on stage dressed as a man than it was to get up there dressed as a woman. As soon as the club hosted Amateur Drag Night, Robbie was given the push he needed to don his dress, complete with wig and stilettos. He bravely took his first steps onto the stage as a Britney Spears look-a-like.

“It was awful. My wig fell off.” He recalls with a laugh. “Which was kind of perfect because I was doing a Britney song, and it was almost a year since she had shaved her head. And I was wearing this hair net that was skin colored so it looked like I was bald.”

Despite a rocky beginning, Robbie continued on his way to becoming an experienced drag queen. At the club he was expected to carry a specific attitude, a fierce, catty, almost bitchy nature - one that was intensified by the amount of drama that clouded the drag scene.

“If you don’t have this thick skin or personality, you won’t make it in the drag world,” Brown said. “In the beginning, I was tossed around and molded into one of them. I think that by staying grounded as who I am and putting it into Athena makes me stand out more than any other performer which gives me confidence.”

Drag, or what’s more commonly known as “cross-dressing” is not a recent discovery within the gay community. The concept of cross-dressing dates back to Shakespeare in the 1500’s. At the time women were not allowed in the theatre, and therefore men had to take on those roles. It was not uncommon for male performers to wear a dress and wig to play their female counterparts. More recently, the act of drag has morphed away from the stage and become incorporated into the gay culture and is now accepted as a lifestyle. For Robbie, his drag alter ego Athena Merlot is a symbolic representation of a woman he hopes will inspire others.

* * *

The chaos that had been Starbucks finally quiets down. Loud chatter has been replaced with intimate whispers, angry hissing from the cappuccino machine has subdued to a gentle hum and the baristas have retreated through the forbidden doors that lead to a private area in the back of the shop.

“There were a lot of things I can relate to with her [Marilyn Monroe]. Similarities in our childhood.” Robbie says as he picks at the corner of his cardboard coffee cup.

“I never knew my father,” he confesses. “And neither did she. That’s why I have a special place for her. It’s not just the Marilyn Monroe, the glamour, the sexy. It’s like a friendship.”

Parallels run between Robbie and Marilyn Monroe’s childhood. Both shared the absence of at least one parental figure. More importantly, they share the acquisition of a new name and identity. Marilyn Monroe was born Norma Jean Baker and spend most of her childhood being moved from one foster home to the next. She began her illustrious career as a model and eventually made her way into the film scene. She ultimately proved that through hard work and determination from a young age, anything is possible no matter where you come from. Robbie also saw Marilyn’s strength in his mother, who successfully raised four children on her own. He, like Marilyn, became fascinated with the world of glamour at a young age. In his adulthood he would take on a second name just as Marilyn Monroe had. He’d become Athena Merlot and prove that with hard work and determination he could be just as successful. Athena Merlot is now established within Ithaca’s gay community as a prominent and inspirational figure.

Not only did Monroe’s childhood share similarities with Robbie’s, her attitude and strength through hardships greatly impacted the character and personality of Athena.

“I think that’s kind of where I wanted Athena to be. I wanted her to be a strong woman. I wanted her to be a woman that other girls could look up to. I think it’s important to know that no matter what kind of background you come from, it really is possible to do anything and not lose yourself in it.”
Off the stage, family is just as important and has had a lasting impact on the person he has become, as both Robbie and Athena.

“My sister and I, when we were kids, my mom got us a book on Greek mythology and we used to act out the different stories with the gods and goddesses,” Brown said. “And we had a lot of fun with that book. Athena was one of my favorites, because in some ways she reminded me of my mom. She was such a strong woman. At one point she raised 4 kids on her own. I saw a lot of her in Athena and it was kind of without realizing it, almost a connection with Athena. Because I’ve only ever known strong women. Smart women. Because of my mom.”

Athena came to him in his childhood as a Greek Goddess, and then again one night at Ruby Sky’s apartment. He noticed a Greek mythology book on her shelf and began to flip through it. The decision to take Athena’s name as his stage name was only natural. The second name, Merlot comes from his favorite wine.

“I love wine and I love merlot. And Athena Merlot has a nice ring to it. So far I don’t know any other drag queens with the name Athena.”

Four years have passed since Brown and his alter ego Athena Merlot performed their first dance together for the drag community. The duo has made a lasting impact in the gay community of Ithaca, New York. In December 2010, Moonshadow Tavern, known to locals and college students alike as “Moonies,” allowed Robbie to test the waters and host the first drag show that the community had seen in years. The event was able to rally a crowd of about fifty people. A vast majority were friends, family and coworkers; a higher number than expected for a Sunday night. After that first show, the owner of Delilah’s, another local club in downtown Ithaca approached Robbie about starting a monthly pride dance party.

“He came to me and said, ‘I want to start a monthly pride dance party. I saw your show at Moonies, would you like to MC the events?’” Brown said. “I wasn’t really into it, I said ‘ugh’ after that first show. It was so much work, so much drama from out of town performers. I said let me look around and try to put something together and if I come up with a lineup I’ll get back to you.”

Two months later, Brown, along with other drag queens from the Ithaca area, performed a drag show so powerful that people had to be turned away at the door because of the turnout. Not only did that night symbolize the beginning of monthly pride dance parties and an expanding gay community in Ithaca, but also a momentous step in American culture. The first Ithaca gay pride party occurred on the same night that gay marriage was legalized in New York.

“I wasn’t expecting it to become a big thing,” Brown said. “And for people to actually remember, I was so surprised to hear people talk about it. It’s nice to be a part of that. I was able to give something back. And if I leave Ithaca it’ll be my legacy. It’s something I’m leaving behind.”